Be Tee Doubleyoo
Seven additional tracks have been leaked from Weezer’s upcoming Red Album. I thought maybe I’d hold off until I could hear the completed, final and mastered album… but I caved.
As weird as it sounds, a couple songs (Heart Songs and Everybody Get Dangerous) almost sound like Red Hot Chili Peppers. And Pat sings on a track? So far this is a really weird album. You’d just have to hear it, I guess. Pork and Beans (the single released a while back) is still the best song of the album.
3 Comments »Job Confirmed
I got a call a couple days ago confirming that I’ve passed the background check for employment at Yahoo (the secret is eating the bodies). Back when I worked for CPU, I was making more money than I knew what to do with, and Yahoo is starting me at exactly double what I was making there, so I should finally be doing alright out here.
Today I received a welcome package from them with a bunch of silly branded trinkets — a t-shirt I will never, ever wear, a license plate frame I would never, ever put on my car, and a pen from the future with a focused LED beam in it that projects a Yahoo logo (Bat signal style). The best part of the package was a light-sensing device connected to a speaker so the box yodeled YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO when I opened it (which scared the shit out of me). This device, unlike everything else in the package, now gets daily use thanks to its new placement in the refrigerator. It’s… really annoying.
3 Comments »Whooops
I guess there was a little confusion among the volunteers with the local Hillary campaign about my attending Bill Clinton’s vote-for-my-wife event a while back. I just received a call asking for help this week because they’re a little short-staffed. They should be more vigilant in the future; I did NOT check the little box that said I would vote for Hillary in the upcoming Oregon primary, and I could have sabotaged their whole operation!
4 Comments »And Baby Says…
(11:15:52 PM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(11:19:52 PM) Caleb: the babe with the power of voodoo?
(11:20:42 PM) Bill: holy shit
(11:20:51 PM) Bill: you totally jumped the gun
(11:16:14 PM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(11:16:20 PM) Drew: ?
(11:16:34 PM) Bill: the babe with the power
(11:17:28 PM) Drew: What power?
(11:17:32 PM) Bill: the power of voodoo
(11:17:35 PM) Drew: Who do?
(11:17:37 PM) Bill: you do
(11:17:44 PM) Drew: Do what?
(11:17:47 PM) Bill: remind me of the babe
(11:17:50 PM) Bill: well done my friend
(11:17:51 PM) Drew: 
(11:18:16 PM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(11:18:35 PM) Nina: who?
(11:18:39 PM) Bill: the babe with the power
(11:18:48 PM) Nina: haha, what’s that from?
(11:18:51 PM) Nina: labrynth?
(11:18:59 PM) Bill: totally fucked it up
(11:19:01 PM) Bill: haha
(11:19:12 PM) Nina: sorry, I couldn’t remember the next line?
(11:19:18 PM) Bill: yeah WHATEVER
(11:20:32 PM) Nina: SORRY!
(11:19:09 PM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(11:19:20 PM) Tim: hitting home runs?
(11:19:25 PM) Bill: …
(11:19:30 PM) Bill: the babe with the power
(11:19:35 PM) Tim: what/
(11:20:07 PM) Tim: oh
(11:20:07 PM) Tim: haha
(11:20:12 PM) Tim: labryinth
(11:20:18 PM) Tim: which babe
(11:20:22 PM) Tim: the babe with the power
(11:20:24 PM) Tim: that right?
(11:20:30 PM) Tim: are you just making a stupid joke?
(11:20:31 PM) Bill: haha im doing an experiment
(11:17:01 PM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(11:17:13 PM) Winkler: wha?
(11:17:21 PM) Bill: the babe with the power
(12:12:45 AM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(12:13:00 AM) Linsey: huh?
(12:13:04 AM) Linsey: the great bambino?
(12:13:04 AM) Bill: the babe with the power
(12:13:19 AM) Linsey: i dont know what you are talking about
(12:13:30 AM) Bill: FAILED
(12:14:48 AM) Linsey: i have no idea what is going on
(12:16:20 AM) Linsey: lol
(12:16:26 AM) Bill: hahha
(12:16:57 AM) Linsey: i just dont understand
(12:16:59 AM) Linsey: haha
(12:17:04 AM) Bill: you ever seen labyrinth?
(12:17:07 AM) Linsey: no
(12:17:11 AM) Bill: NO WAY
(12:17:13 AM) Bill: how old are you?
(12:17:16 AM) Linsey: 23
(12:17:20 AM) Bill: inexcusable
(12:17:30 AM) Linsey: i started watching it once, but it was stupid
(12:17:47 AM) Bill: uhhh you mean stupid crazy cool
(1:01:30 AM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(1:03:27 AM) Sandra: whats you remind me of the babe?
(1:03:32 AM) Sandra: that isnt a lyric is it?
(1:03:34 AM) Bill: the babe with the power
(1:03:37 AM) Sandra: what power
(1:03:41 AM) Bill: the power of voodoo
(1:03:44 AM) Sandra: who do
(1:03:46 AM) Bill: you do
(1:03:48 AM) Sandra: do what
(1:03:51 AM) Bill: remind me of the babe
(1:03:55 AM) Sandra: I SAW MY BAAABAY
(1:03:57 AM) Bill: CONGRATULATIONS
(1:03:59 AM) Sandra: CRYING HARD AS BABE COULD CRRYYY
(1:04:01 AM) Bill: hahahhahaha
(12:58:06 PM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(12:58:47 PM) Emily: What babe?
(12:58:50 PM) Bill: the babe with the power
(12:58:54 PM) Emily: What power?
(12:58:56 PM) Bill: the power of voodoo
(12:59:00 PM) Emily: Who do?
(12:59:01 PM) Bill: you do
(12:59:03 PM) Emily: Do what?
(12:59:05 PM) Bill: remind me of the babe
(12:59:15 PM) Emily: Bill, I think you just made my whole day
(12:59:18 PM) Bill: hahaha
(1:01:44 PM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(1:01:52 PM) Shawn: the babe with the power
(1:02:00 PM) Bill: goddammit you fucked it up
(1:02:06 PM) Shawn: shit
(1:02:12 PM) Shawn: well goddamn it, it’s been a while
(1:02:14 PM) Bill: haha
(5:48:04 PM) Señor El Cameron hey
(5:48:11 PM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(5:48:17 PM) Señor El Cameron what babe
(5:48:20 PM) Bill: the babe with the power
(5:48:26 PM) Señor El Cameron what power
(5:48:29 PM) Bill: the power of voodoo
(5:48:34 PM) Señor El Cameron who do?
(5:48:36 PM) Bill: you do
(5:48:39 PM) Señor El Cameron do what?
(5:48:41 PM) Bill: remind me of the babe
(5:48:48 PM) Señor El Cameron WHAAT
(5:48:53 PM) Bill: nice
(5:56:23 PM) Bill: you remind me of the babe
(5:56:44 PM) Ron: the babe why do you say that
(5:56:49 PM) Bill: the babe with the power
(5:56:59 PM) Ron: huh
(5:57:04 PM) Bill: the power of voodoo
(5:57:12 PM) Ron: ok
(5:57:16 PM) Bill: nevermind
(5:57:30 PM) Ron: what the hell are you talkin about dude
Who Gives a Fuck About Iron Man?
You do. Cuz I just got back from the movie and it was fucking radical.
9 Comments »Nerrrrvousssss
Have an interview at Yahoo today for which I am woefully unprepared. *Terrified*
15 Comments »It Will Be Hailed as “Uncompromising” and “A Triumph”
(2:20:26 PM) Bill: dude
(2:20:32 PM) Bill: i just came up with an art exhibition
(2:20:42 PM) Bill: this is so pretentious its amazing
(2:20:57 PM) Bill: its like a bunch of huge photo prints
(2:21:20 PM) Bill: but instead of photos, they’re blank white sheets of photo paper with bold black text describing some common snapshot cliches
(2:22:19 PM) Bill: THIS IS A PHOTO OF TWO PEOPLE STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. A THIRD PERSON STANDS BEHIND THEM AND HAS PLACED TWO FINGERS BEHIND ONE OF THEIR HEADS TO AFFECT THE EARS OF A RABBIT.
(2:23:48 PM) Bill: THIS IS A PHOTO OF AN UNCONSCIOUS PERSON WHO HAS CLEARLY CONSUMED A LARGE QUANTITY OF ALCOHOL. HIS FRIENDS, NOT PICTURED, HAVE WRITTEN OBSCENITIES ON HIS FACE WITH PERMANENT PENS AND STUFFED WADS OF TOILET PAPER IN HIS NOSTRILS AND EARS.
(2:26:01 PM) Shawn: haha
(2:26:03 PM) Shawn: incredible
(2:26:05 PM) Shawn: go with it
(2:26:11 PM) Shawn: this is how you will make millions
(2:26:13 PM) Bill: hahaha
(2:27:35 PM) Bill: THIS IS A PICTURE OF A NUDE HUMAN INFANT, WHICH HAS BEEN PLACED ON A BLANKET BY ITS PARENTS (NOT PICTURED). IT IS SLIGHTLY OUT OF FOCUS.
(2:27:42 PM) Shawn: haha
(2:27:49 PM) Shawn: THIS IS A PICTURE OF YOU
(2:27:53 PM) Bill: oh dude
(2:27:54 PM) Bill: thats the last one
(2:27:59 PM) Shawn: hahahahaha
(2:28:04 PM) Bill: when the critics go “WHOA”
(2:28:24 PM) Shawn: THIS IS A PICTURE OF A MIRROR REFLECTING THE STATE IN WHICH WE LIVE
(2:28:31 PM) Shawn: THIS IS A PICTURE OF OUR WORLD
(2:28:34 PM) Shawn: THIS IS A PICTURE OF YOU
(2:28:37 PM) Bill: haha
(2:28:47 PM) Shawn: and you stand at the end of them, at the last one
(2:28:53 PM) Shawn: in a black turtle neck
(2:28:59 PM) Shawn: and slap them after they read the last one
(2:29:25 PM) Bill: hahaha
(2:55:07 PM) Bill: i could even come right out
(2:55:11 PM) Bill: full disclosure
(2:55:37 PM) Bill: and say like “this is an art project that shows people how much bullshit art is”
(2:55:41 PM) Bill: and theyd STILL gobble it up
(2:55:47 PM) Bill: cuz its so fuckin meta at that point
(2:55:50 PM) Shawn: hahaha
(2:55:52 PM) Shawn: dude
(2:55:53 PM) Shawn: haha
(2:55:55 PM) Shawn: please do this
(2:56:08 PM) Shawn: call it “BULLSHIT”
(2:56:11 PM) Bill: hahaha
(2:56:14 PM) Shawn: “THIS IS BULLSHIT”
(2:56:23 PM) Shawn: “He’s so into todays youth…”
(2:56:28 PM) Bill: if by bullshit you mean brilliant
Crisis Averted
In the time since I built the Obama banner for my site, his campaign has revamped his typographical identity, leaving my banner looking hopelessly outdated. I finally downloaded new logos from his site that use the slick new Gotham font and the all-uppercase serif font on his name and built a new one. It was a close call, I know, but everything’s under control now. Carry on.
Edit:
Here’s a kinda neat little painting I did on Facebook a bit later. Problem with Graffiti on Facebook is I get bored of the project after about 20 minutes, but you can’t really just save and come back to it later so I just half-ass it after a while. Whatever. If you stand back a bit, squint your eyes a little and make a wish, it doesn’t look that bad. And your wish comes true.
Billy C and Me
Bill Clinton came through Portland Saturday to speak on behalf of his wife’s campaign and, being an Obama supporter but Bill Clinton admirer, I weathered standing in line for something like three hours to go see him. By the time I reached the building, as if I hadn’t stood around long enough, all available seating was taken. Standing room only. This did mean, however, that I got to stand about 15 feet from him for the entirety of his speech, and I immediately regretted not bringing my camera (I was afraid security would make a stink about professional cameras from non-press, since they’re large enough to house both an IED and a gatling gun. Turns out they had absolutely no problem with amateurs with pro cameras, as evidenced by the guy next to me who shot horrible, horrible pictures the whole time on a really expensive Canon. That’s right, I kept peeking over his shoulder as he checked his screen between shots). In fact, I think I was the only person there without a camera. Awesome.
Though the event was supposed to begin at 5:30 and run til 7:30, I didn’t make my way through the two-block line til at least 7:00, and there was plenty more deliberation once inside. Festivities began with an extremely obnoxious cheerleading team reject who is apparently in charge of hyping Hillary in the Portland area. After failing to hype the crowd for 15 minutes or so (seriously, the vast majority of the people there were a liiiittle too old to be putting up with the bullshit she was pulling — it was really awkward), an additional speaker from the school board came out to stumble through another script and kill any excitement that anybody may still have had left. FINALLY, well over an hour later, Bill emerged to deafening applause and, after some chit chat about how great touring Oregon was, launched right into his why-you-should-vote-for-my-wife spiel. Despite the fact that he had had six or seven speaking events earlier in the day and was visibly exhausted, he really nailed it. It’s almost sad how much better of a spokesperson Bill is for Hillary’s campaign than Hillary is; there were several applause lines you couldn’t help but get sucked into, Obama-voter or no. Of course, my issue with the Hillary campaign has never been about policy. Why wouldn’t I applaud for policy nearly identical to my candidate’s? As I clapped for several key points, I couldn’t help but think “Yeah… Obama’s doing that too.”
After he finished, fans swarmed the floor to shake hands, get pictures and get their copies of My Life signed. Not wanting to deal with the crowd, primarily because I had neglected to eat all day, I instead made my way back out of the building. Not waiting around to shake his hand quickly turned into a greater regret than not bringing my camera. So I hung out sneezing distance from a highly respected former president for two hours and didn’t get so much as a photo or a handshake. I know, sweet story. Goddammit.
No Comments »All You Can Eat (Limit Two)
When I got back to my apartment building last night, there were two buffalo wings sitting on top of the stairs in the hallway. There’s ALWAYS random things in the hallway here, so I just laughed and continued on my way. But I got another laugh when I went skateboarding today and they were STILL there. AND when I returned.
So I made up a little sign and now the problem should just solve itself.
