Wow, This Country Is Stupid
Hey, here’s a delightfully vomit-inducing little tidbit:
Everybody knows a platinum record has sold a million copies. What I didn’t know was that 10 million records is awarded a “diamond”, which I had never heard of. Very few albums have gone diamond (only five of which have gone double-diamond), and though you’d think the list is elite, several entries are, of course, “bands” and “singers” specifically designed and manufactured to sell records. You know, two Backstreet Boys albums, two n’Sync albums, two Britney Spears albums, etc etc, contaminate a list that should be populated with good music. Sure, there are a couple great, monumental albums on there, but most of it is marketing bullshit and “Best of”s.
Anyway, here’s the punchline to this. Greatest selling album of all time? Brace yourself: The Eagles: Their Greatest Hits.
No, no. Listen: THE EAGLES. Not Michael Jackson, not The Beatles, not Elvis or U2 or even *cough* The Backstreet Boys.
…THE EAGLES.
Best selling album of all time. How many copies? Nearly TRIPLE diamond with 28 MILLION copies. TWENTY EIGHT MILLION PEOPLE bought The Best of The Eagles to hear ‘Hotel California’, ‘Life in the Fast Lane’ and ‘that other song’. Twenty Eight Million records. With just under 300,000,000 people in America, nearly 1 in 10 people own this fucking Eagles album. If that isn’t reason to move to Canada, I don’t know what is. I hope those figures represent world-wide sales…
Just a couple hours later:
Mom: did u see i left a message on your blog?
Mom: you’re gonna be sooooo disappointed
birubotx: ugh
Mom: and the tickets are going for $1000 a piece on ebay
birubotx: you…
birubotx: you didnt pay that did you?
Mom: no
Mom: but still paid way too much
Mom: i’d just as soon listen on cd
Mom: and it is a great album, lol
birubotx: pff
birubotx: youre a sucker
Mom: i know, i wasn’t happy about it
birubotx: theres a premium for awful music i guess
birubotx: wow, the eagles
birubotx: mom
birubotx: seriously
Mom: i like the eagles, sorry
Mom: gotta realize they were big when i was in high school so part of it is nostalgia
birubotx: well they also sucked when you were in high school
birubotx: so sell your tickets on ebay
birubotx: and have that much money
Mom: yeah we’ve thought of that cuz would pay for our hawaii trip then
birubotx: hmmm
birubotx: hawaii or the eagles? hawaii or the eagles?
Mom: lol
birubotx: week in paradise….2 hours of terrible music
birubotx: yeah, tough one
July 30th, 2005 at 12:33 am
did i tell you we have tickets to c the eagles?
and there’s witchy woman and desperado
July 30th, 2005 at 1:39 am
I can’t belieive this still…the most shocking was the Boy band figures, that and the britney spears crap, that was the most shocking.
July 30th, 2005 at 2:26 am
I don’t understand how you find that shocking. Those groups are created specifically to sell records. A fad is created and through clever promotion, the market is steered towards it. Of COURSE they’ve sold a billion records. I was surprised The Beatles weren’t in the top five.
July 30th, 2005 at 2:21 pm
I’m surprised Mom is not off to Hawaii already!