Three Cheers For Losing Your Wallet!
Originally this post was going to be about my ten favorite things on earth, but then I remembered that losing wallets isn’t on that list, so you get to hear about me losing my wallet instead.
Man wallets are an incredible idea; a little container for all your most important documentation and valuables in one little easy-to-lose package. Let’s take a look at what I lost:
- About $70 cash (I NEVER carry cash. I just happened to have cash last night…awesome, huh?)
- My debit card
- My driver’s license (Eh, I only use it to drink anyway)
- My social security card (I also don’t carry this. My work needed a copy of it, so I put it in my wallet so I wouldn’t forget…awesome, huh?)
- My American Atheists membership card (Which helps guarantee that even if an honest Christian finds it, I will not be getting it back)
- My Old Chicago World Beer Tour card
- Monica’s written oath to someday quit smoking (8 years old and counting, Moni…)
- The word MALLROY, laminated, which serves to remind me I have a friend named MALLROY
- 3 bass picks of varying textures
Not only did I lose all of those goodies, let’s not forget that the wallet itself was a vintage Super Mario Bros. 2 wallet, which I have owned since…well, since Super Mario Bros. 2 came out. Even if I managed to find a replacement for it, it wouldn’t be the same.
Now you might feel a little sorry for me, but that would be deceitful of me. In order for me to receive any pity guilt-free, we would have to pretend two things:
A: That I was sober, and
B: That my pants were in the upright and locked position at the time
Unfortunately…well, I think you get the point. I’m soooo excited my mom reads my blog.
3 Responses to “Three Cheers For Losing Your Wallet!”
HAHAHA you fucker why do you have to make me laugh at your misfortune??? hahaha i hate you for that oh yeah and im not unsorry you lost your wallet i guess what?
dude, that really sucks. i have a spare hello kitty wallet????
Whew. For a moment there I thought you had lost my picture. I’m glad you framed and laminated that baby before you lost your wallet.
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