Crashed By Bees!!!
I picked myself up a six pack of Newcastle Brown Ale this evening after my shift, but didn’t really have any plans for enjoying it. It’s Sunday night and there just isn’t much to do. Still, it’s always nice to have some “just in case” beer sitting around. Well, I had been at my computer for about 20 minutes when Chuck called to invite me to Cameron’s to enjoy some frosty brews in Cameron’s “outdoor living room”.
Yes, a portion of Cameron’s driveway is oddly carpeted and furnished, and it makes for an enjoyable summer relaxing location. I grabbed my sixer of just-in-case and headed over. Cameron’s Powerbook was set up, and a couple dudes were hanging out enjoying a beautiful summer night with an endless MP3 playlist and a case of Corona.
It wasn’t more than thirty seconds after I sat down that tragedy struck.
Matt jumped from his chair, grabbed his hand and yelled “Mother…!!! I just got stung by a bee!!” Everybody froze, eyes wide, when Chuck, terrified and pointing at Matt’s shirt, yelled “It’s on your back!!!!!!” The situation intensified and mild wailing followed. However, most of us figured it was an isolated incident. It was far from over, though. I’m not QUITE sure how he knew, but Cameron was somehow able to intuit that one of the chairs we were sitting in housed a beehive. Judging by the direction from which the bees were coming, we were able to pinpoint which chair it was, and shielding his face, Chuck grabbed it and flung it several feet from our hang zone. Well, Cameron’s spider-sense was right on, and all hell broke loose.
Later, we had a discussion: It doesn’t matter how badass you think you are; NOBODY is “macho” or “manly” in any situation involving BEES. Immediately everybody was shrieking like cheerleaders and running in opposite directions, arms flailing, as bees swarmed the area. We all ran for my car, screaming at the painfully slow power windows, then waited to catch our breath while formulating a plan on how we would A: retrieve our beer, B: retrieve Cameron’s laptop, and C: close Cameron’s back door, through which several bees were already invading his home. While the plan was formulated, I inched my car up his driveway to the chair, which I was able to manipulate with my vehicle until we could see the enormous hive attached underneath the seat. My car was swarmed, and we left for a quick drive around the block to lose all the bees that so desperately wanted to sacrifice their lives in order to sting us.
Upon return, Cameron and Chuck made a mad dash through the open back door and disappeared for several minutes. Fearing they had been claimed by bees, Matt and I were going to retrieve the laptop and beer ourselves when they came bursting back out the door, armored in hooded sweaters with the strings cinched tight around their faces, and scrambled to collect the laptop and beer. There was much shrieking and arm flailing, but they returned to the car with all our equipment with only one additional sting inflicted.
We then drove to my house, drank our beer, and played Beatmania all night, all the while complaining about bees. Our night was basically ruined, but I’m sure Cameron’s neighbors all had MUCH more entertaining nights than they had planned on.
July 17th, 2006 at 2:54 am
i totally just peed my pants.
July 17th, 2006 at 3:55 am
WE HATE BEES!!!!
July 17th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
That’s what you get for drinkng Newcastle.
July 17th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
How did you guys not notice a BEE HIVE inside of the chair before?! I mean, you had to have heard some buzzing and I’m not talking about the beer.
July 17th, 2006 at 11:16 pm
Beer…
July 18th, 2006 at 3:31 am
If you like Red Stripe, I don’t see how you couldn’t like Newcastle. They taste very similar, but Newcastle is a little sweeter. It’s tasty, but I don’t know about ten-dollars-a-six-pack worth of tasty…
July 18th, 2006 at 11:52 pm
It’s a little too Raph.
July 19th, 2006 at 10:47 pm
Your a little too Raph.
July 20th, 2006 at 3:49 am
Burn! Wait, what the fuck does “Raph” mean?
July 21st, 2006 at 1:54 am
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II quote.
July 21st, 2006 at 1:55 am
Yes I really am a 24 year old who quotes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
July 21st, 2006 at 3:24 am
I wasn’t aware Raphael enjoyed Newcastle. Must have been a deleted scene.
September 3rd, 2006 at 10:52 pm
I’m playing catch up since I’ve missed the last couple months of blogging.
Chris W is officially awesome.