I’d Like to Write a Blog, but…

Nothing has happened in the world or my life for several days, although today I did see a kid mopping the sidewalk.

12 Responses to “I’d Like to Write a Blog, but…”

1. Chris W. Says:
   July 31st, 2007 at 4:12 am

   I think that counts. If I’m not home to entertain you with beer and cops, I’ve gone every night except Saturday to the parking garage to see Mikey and run up stairs. The weight in my backpack actually tore one of the straps off today. It’s a blast. See you there.

2. Jesse Says:
   July 31st, 2007 at 3:53 pm

   what?

3. zhx Says:
   July 31st, 2007 at 6:50 pm

   Oh yeah, you’re not really in the loop anymore. Chris went nuts.

4. Chris W. Says:
   July 31st, 2007 at 9:37 pm

   Nuts like a fox.

5. Chris W. Says:
   August 1st, 2007 at 3:20 am

   It’s 3am and contrary to what my posting schedule looks like, I’m not usually up this late. But, I just got a phone call from the police telling me that my car had been burglarized. The items that were stolen? About 10 music CDs that were definitely not in their original cases, some motor oil, an additional CD case with about 10 University of Texas programming software discs and, get this, my duffel bag with two dumbbells in them weighing 40 lbs. The cop-tress tells me they probably took it because it was heavy and they thought “heavy” meant “expensive”. I would pay money to see their faces when they opened it up and realized that “heavy” meant “weights”. Coincidentally, they didn’t take the backpack filled with weights or your boombox that was sitting right next to it that I keep meaning to give back to you from deathwagon home. The guy that called the cops said “yeah I think they stole a bike tire or something also”, I replied that I had no idea if I had a bike tire in there. The cop-ette then gave me a quizzical look and inquired if I had driven the vehicle within the last week, and wondered aloud whether or not I was intoxicated (I wasn’t) or if I even cared (I didn’t). Also, the thieves were apparently spotted in the foxhill area, which was the same place that Shawn the vigilante tracked the last batch of brilliant robbers that broke into his and Ryan’s cars. So the moral of the story is… don’t… sleep… or… um… steal. Yeah, don’t sleep or steal. Oh, also, in case you’re wondering whether a female police officer will be impressed with running up the stairs with weights… she won’t. Also, she won’t be impressed with you calling her cop-tress or cop-ette or “lady law”. So avoid those terms. That is all.

6. Chris W. Says:
   August 1st, 2007 at 3:36 am

   Oh, she also pointed out that the fact that my windows were all rolled down and the doors unlocked could have been a reason for the thieves to single out my car to rob. Apparently, her training taught her that.

7. zhx Says:
   August 1st, 2007 at 9:27 am

   Must be a slow day for crime in Casper if the force has put their finest detective on a simple burglary case.

   Good call on the thieves’ part, though. Sure, your bag turned out to be full of 40lbs of steel, but it COULD have been 40lbs of hundred dollar bills.

   Or gravel.

8. zhx Says:
   August 1st, 2007 at 9:30 am

   Hey, aren’t there cameras all over that parking lot? Or is that how they discovered your car was burglarized and I’m Casper’s finest detective?

9. Buttsauce Says:
   August 1st, 2007 at 10:40 am

   I’m guessing that according to Chris, dude saw his car getting ripped off, called cops, cops check license plate number of car, get a summary of Chris, his painted past with them, all of his information, which includes phone number, and give him a ringy dingy. That’s my guess.

   Although I don’t know about Chris waking up to the phone at 3 in the morning, I don’t know how else the cops would track him down and let him know about his missing weights.

   Maybe I’m Casper’s finest detective. Mo’Fugga.

10. Chris W. Says:
    August 1st, 2007 at 11:08 am

    They didn’t say anything about the surveillance cameras, although my car is parked directly in front of the pole that reads “Warning: property monitored by surveillance cameras” so I’m guessing that those are just there for the scare. Shawn is correct and indeed one fine detective. I hope the car crooks are enjoying my C++ game programming discs and my mismatched dumbbells.

11. zhx Says:
    August 1st, 2007 at 11:47 am

    They’re not enjoying them! They’ve already turned the loot into cold, hard cash and are living it up right now. Scratched CDs without their jewel cases fetch a pretty penny in Tijuana.

12. Buttsauce Says:
    August 1st, 2007 at 11:48 am

    Maybe these crooks will now grow into a world of geekery and start pumping out games and muscles. If anyone notices and yolked up nerds peddling solitaire ripoffs, we’ll know who to go after.

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