Responding to Various Rumors
Yes, my decision to move to Portland seemed to come out of nowhere. Honestly, it’s mostly because I embrace spontaneity and I haven’t really done anything spontaneous since…well, since my first long-term girlfriend. That’s basically it. I want something different, I was kinda thinking west coast in my head, an opportunity presented itself, and I went with it. Oh, here’s a transcript of that opportunity.
(1:02:35 AM) Bill: nick
(1:03:42 AM) Nick: Hm?
(1:03:48 AM) Bill: who do you live with again?
(1:04:05 AM) Nick: Now? A guy named Corey
(1:04:09 AM) Bill: well, im moving in
(1:04:23 AM) Nick: Alright, we need another roommate
(1:05:11 AM) Nick: When should I tell him you’re moving in?
(1:05:32 AM) Bill: hmmm
(1:07:08 AM) Bill: tomorrow
(1:07:16 AM) Nick: Cool
Turns out “tomorrow” was a little TOO spontaneous to be humanly possible, so I instead bought a plane ticket to go and check it out and make my decision. I totally fell in love with the town, and I browsed through job listings online and turns out they actually pay people to perform tasks with computers in that area, so I was sold pretty quickly. Oh, plus they have a totally bitchin retro arcade that serves cheap beer.
Addressing various rumors:
- No girl is involved. I don’t know any girls in Portland. Though it may appear that I am incapable of functioning on a daily basis without a girlfriend, I don’t just hop on the next GF train out of town every time
- I’m not leaving because of my last breakup. It sort of served as a catalyst, but several other factors were already in place that made me want to leave town, not the least of which being that we have a really shitty arcade.
- “Portland’s retro arcade can’t really be that cool, can it?” Yeah, it’s really that cool. Guys, they serve alcohol there. Beer and Robotron? Tell me you don’t want to move.
To clarify, I’ve created a pie chart to outline my reasons for moving.
I promise I will not become a hipster. I mostly just think they have a cooler arcade than we have here. I mean come on…Aladdin’s Castle? Gimme a break. I’ve been dreaming of moving away from that arcade for a long time.
September 23rd, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Just for an arcade seems like a pretty asshole move. I mean, come on, they have the entire Metal Slug collection for Wii. What more does a man need?
September 23rd, 2007 at 11:36 pm
go be one with the bitchin’ arcade you know its true
September 24th, 2007 at 2:25 am
That arcade is sweet! Especially when you need a beer and a hankering desire to play Space Jam pinball at the same time. Theres also a cofee shop with a treehouse that plays Maiden a block away for the sober days.
September 24th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Damn yo tell me it aint so Biruboto. Ha Ha I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it. Tell me your really not moving to Portland. I mean come on Portland. I can understand the west coast. Seattle, L.A., San Francisco, San Diego, even Oakland but Portland. Damn dude you got it bad man. No seriously I think it’s cool you’re willing to venture out on your own and test the open waters that the “Bright lights, Big city,” can offer. Plus I hear there are these things called inter-web based techno-business franchises that do crazy things on the internets, anyway thats what I hear from people like my friend George W. If it is indeed so I wish you the best of luck and watch out for those Portland Trailblazer basketball players I believe they are now the west coast’s third largest gang behind the Crips and Bloods. But if you happen to run into one just yell “Hey look at the fat white chick over there” then run like hell after they get distracted. Peace out brother.
September 24th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
I like pie charts.
September 24th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
You can tell something is traumatic if it brings Ron out of the woodwork all the way down in Lusk.
September 24th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Ground Kontrol would be nothing without Gorf.
September 24th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
I just found out that GORF stands for Galactic Orbiting Robot Force. This probably proves that I’m just a lowly Space Cadet.
September 25th, 2007 at 10:58 am
What about the gay rumor?
September 25th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
I wasn’t going to address the gay rumor because it’s Nick’s theory and I’m pretty sure it’s only wishful thinking.