Oregonomalies or “Stop Thinking Up Useless Portmanteaus, for Fuck’s Sake”
The move from Wyoming to Oregon has been a bit of a culture shock for me. For example, there is more than one black guy (I always felt sorry for that guy back home — he must be lonely). Also, the area in which I work has a very high Russian population. In fact, I just had a fun interaction with our non-English-speaking janitor, who assumed I spoke Russian, not more than a couple hours ago. I’ve also noticed pretty large Indian, Chinese and Japanese populations, which make for a unique multicultural experience. I feel like a total hayseed, but unless you were born and raised (or have even spent a decent length of time) in Wyoming or the midwest, you probably wouldn’t understand why this is all so exotic to me.
Here are some other things I have yet to adjust to:
I’m not totally sure if this is statewide, but you don’t service yourself at gas stations. The first time I fueled up in Oregon (on my trip in, just about 30 minutes across the state line at about 3 in the morning), I pulled up to a gas station and was digging for my wallet when I saw a guy slowwwly put a jacket on and step out into the rain. As he approached my car, I thought “Seriously? Pretty sure I can handle this myself.” I rolled my window down, he greeted me, took my credit card, ran it through the pump for me, filled my tank, handed me the receipt, and returned to his post inside. What? The pump is right there. This is not only a foreign concept to me, it is also completely nonsensical. I would prefer to pump myself; the second time I fueled up (just a couple days ago), there were two attendants responsible for eight pumps, and I had to sit and wait like an idiot until one had the time to get to my car, in which time I could have easily done it myself and been on my way. I don’t like being “served.” I don’t even really like being waited on in restaurants. I basically just cannot stand having somebody else do something for me that I am perfectly capable of accomplishing myself — it’s awkward.
Secondly, this whole sales tax thing. My entire life I’ve trained myself to think in terms of sales tax, especially on more expensive items. It’s weird going into a store and thinking “Alright, I need this, this and this” and you can merely add up the prices on the tags without having to mentally add in a percentage of the sum. On a side note, if there’s no sales tax, why the HELL would you give something an oddball price like $2.89 or $3.79? Is this some sort of legislation to ensure that people will always have change to give to the homeless population? You would think that in a place where you don’t have to add an uneven percentage of sales tax to the price of something, merchandise would be priced accordingly: “Candy Bar” - $1, “Shirt” - $12, “50 Gallons Mayonnaise” - $60. Or at the very least, stick to the classic $x.99, and keep a bucket, rather than a tray, available for pennies. Is that such a crazy idea? Also, due to the lack of sales tax, I’m terrified to discover how much is going to be taken out of my paychecks.
Next up, liquor sales. You know what is sold at liquor stores? Liquor. Period. You don’t go to the liquor store to purchase beer or wine; that’s readily available anywhere, and I’m happy to report that the majority of grocery, and to a lesser extent, convenience stores I’ve been to so far have better beer selection than “liquor” stores back home. This is then truly convenient as, for example, an “economy size” box of condoms, several bottles of wine, a box of Hostess Cupcakes and a copy of Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead can all be purchased at the same location. You know, for a romantic night. What a concept.
Finally I saw a “Kucinich for President” bumper sticker today. Now THAT was a mindfuck.
October 27th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
I’ll keep this short. Drive-through liquor. Wyoming 1 Oregon 0.
October 27th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Ah, you’re right. Totally spaced it.
October 28th, 2007 at 1:07 am
I’m with you about the gas. The first time I filled up in Oregon the guy popped out of nowhere and I was scarred. He then proceeded to tell me that yes, it is illegal to pump your own gas in Oregon. The state decided creating more jobs would increase the money back into the economy, which in turn makes gas cheaper. It’s like a whole $0.15 cheaper than here in Washington. I personally don’t believe $0.15 to the gallon is equal to an awkward moment to the gallon. I will not be filling up in your state ever again.
October 28th, 2007 at 1:47 am
It’s not MY goddamn state! I don’t make up the rules!