The Valley of Gwangi
I’ve been on a Planet of the Apes kick for a couple days now, watching one a night until I finish all five. I was distracted one night by The Peanut Butter Solution and now I have been sidetracked again by a little 1969 film called The Valley of Gwangi. I goddamn hate westerns, but when you add dinosaurs to the mix, I’m listening. That’s right — cowboys rasslin’ dinosaurs. I was even more pumped to find out in the opening credits that the effects were done by none other than Ray Harryhausen.
The movie takes its sweet time getting going; it’s literally halfway over before we see the first dinosaur, but it’s pretty much awesome from that point on. I mean, c’mon:
After the cowboys successfully capture an allosaur (the titular Gwangi), the movie parallels King Kong to a T: despite warnings from natives, humans remove monster from home and put it on display, monster escapes during show, monster runs rampant through town and even though he hasn’t done anything wrong, monster dies slow, painful and gruesome death. Yay humans.
“Cinema’s most unfair fights” #267 - Allosaurus vs. Circus Elephant
“Cinema’s most unfair fights” #3 - Allosaurus vs. Dwarf
If you like dinosaurs and stop-motion special effects, pick this movie up, skip the first 45 minutes, then embrace your inner ten-year-old as you watch cowboys with names like Tuck, Champ and Rowdy lasso an anatomically inaccurate allosaur while it battles an anatomically inaccurate styracosaur. This is the type of movie that makes you want to break out your action figures and dinosaur toys and make them fight.
November 26th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
did that early today at work and after lunch stick ball wit ha roll of duct tape for the ball i strike out twice
November 26th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
but a new basketball season start tomorrow and this year im gonna score a point
November 27th, 2007 at 10:12 am
i hate reading comments left by you. It’s like trying to read something a 4 year old scribbled down that they thought “made sense”
November 27th, 2007 at 11:36 am
whos justin howard
November 27th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Who is JOEPuD?
November 27th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
oh drew you know me my friend
November 27th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Joe Pud is Miguel Best.
I can’t believe you’ll watch shit like this by yourself but you’re not into Mystery Science Theater 3000. Does anyone besides me make sense? Answer: (in unison from all my friends and some strangers) “CHEEZE-WIZ!!!” (Friends and strangers resume drooling on themselves until feed bag is strapped back on.)
November 27th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
I don’t dislike MST3k — I’m not sure where you got that.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
dude pocketninja and terrortoon both rock
November 28th, 2007 at 7:34 am
FUCK! you beat me to it. I was going to mention Pocket Ninjas…and how amazing that movie is. And Bill, I have your copy of that movie
November 28th, 2007 at 9:44 am
You’ve had his copy of that for like 4 years now. I think it’s alright to say “Bill, I stole your copy of that movie”
November 28th, 2007 at 11:29 am
im quick on the draw my friend
November 29th, 2007 at 8:53 am
you are indeed quick on the draw my friend. And yeah…Buttsauce is right. I think it’s safe to say I stole your copy of Pocket Ninjas. I actually never watched the whole thing. The sound issue, I remember it being very awful, pissed me off too much to want to continue watching it. I will bring it home during Christmas if you are going to be around
November 29th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Anatomically incorrect…they have a trex in a bird cage…i’m no geologist or anything,but i’m sure those things were at least 3 times bigger than that.
I have seen that film btw, long time ago. You actually NOW need to check out westworld. Michael Chriton wrote it, and i learned about it through simpsons commentaries. but its really awful…