Some Illiterate Fiction
I just discovered my ex-stepbrother’s Myspace, which he hasn’t used a whole lot in the past year, but he did post some incredible fiction. Oh, for reference, I think he’s 22 years old and yes, English is his first (well, only) language.
there was a guy named after his great grand father.He was to be like him but there was no recoder in the any state,town,fbi,cia, recoders. he was not of this time or realaty he was a ancent race of the high alcamists were the circals of it would apire on thim in time of need. but that was jist one side of him the ather was of a were cat or all so knows as bastet. meaning that he can change at will but on full moons change jist because it is a curse. this curse of gift as some would call it was given to most or there type so both would be passed on to every gene from thin on but no humen agnese know of the werecats or alcamists or vampires faires. but it was in there faire tales. these tell of the wars between thim all.
the guy was one with these in his mind a gift his name was Konie Toonome .he has travaled for a long time. but the knolage of his gifts came one at a time first if was the werecat he was learning to control. he had a lot to learn sence he did not grow up with the knolage of it was he was. so the first time he change he was driven by anger and got shund by the people of the village so he left on this jurney and in his travel fond some one that angerd he so bad he did not change but the anchent power started to show as circals apired on his hand his forhead and one on the his belly. thst all the power he had was at his control.
Just thought I’d share.
Edit: Okay, I was really bored so I wrote my own version.
Though all state, town, FBI and CIA records made no mention of him, there once lived a man named after his great-grandfather. You see, state, town, FBI and CIA recorders haven’t the time to document the existence of beings outside this time and reality, nor do they bother with the likes of high alchemists, upon whose bodies appear circles (but only in the time of need)!
But hidden deep beneath the calm high alchemist facade lay the spirit of a werecat — referred to in the realm outside of time and reality as bastets — a wicked, snarling beast whose form the man named after his great-grandfather could assume at will. But alas, on the night of the full moon the curse pays his will no heed!
A curse?
Or a gift?
The arrogant human agnese who, outside of children’s fairy tales, know not of werecats or alchemists or vampire fairies or their battles would scoff. But the bastet bloodlines are proud of their genetic heritage. One of these blessed beings — a traveler by the name of Konie Toonome — was just coming to terms with the knowledge of his gifts.
“This werecat, deep inside me,” he would spend sleepless night after night pondering, “Can I control it?”
One could certainly understand his naivete; he was raised ignorant of who he was, primarily due to the lack of state, town, FBI and CIA records concerning bastets. So it came to pass that his first transformation was driven by anger; a dangerous liability in a village of such small size and Konie was subsequently banished. He knew he would need to learn to control his rage so when, in his travels, he encountered another person that made him angrier than last time, he did not transform. Instead, ancient power coursed through his veins! As it did, they began to appear: CIRCLES. Circles burst from his hand and forehead, followed by his belly. He was able to control all the power over which he had control!
April 6th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
A curse.
A definite curse.
April 6th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
I dunno, dude. Having circles appear on you when you get mad is kinda cool.
April 6th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Chip the glass, crack the plates, thats what Bilbo Baggins hates
April 7th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Was your mom or dad responsible for welcoming this into the house?
There’s no possible way the creature that wrote that is 22 years old.
April 7th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Yeah that was the awesome son of my dad’s awesome last wife. He was “family” for 10 years, as embarrassing as that is to admit.
April 7th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
oh brother…
April 7th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
is this the screenplay for underworld?
April 7th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Hahaha
April 8th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Jesus. What bothers me is this kid breeding. Bill, just for the record, there’s no fucking way this kid would ever beat me at chess. You’re a liar.
April 8th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Dude, I’m not kidding you. Total chess savant. I mean he probably couldn’t beat you NOW, after your four year love affair with online chess, but I’m sure you still would have been surprised.
April 15th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Ok one just has to wonder how much crack his parents were on when they conceived this literary half-wit or how much of his grey matter was dis-lodged the last time he was digging for an original thought. Dude you seriously need to not acknowledge this maroon was ever part of your family lest ye might be judged as equally retarded. Peace brother.