Billy C and Me
Bill Clinton came through Portland Saturday to speak on behalf of his wife’s campaign and, being an Obama supporter but Bill Clinton admirer, I weathered standing in line for something like three hours to go see him. By the time I reached the building, as if I hadn’t stood around long enough, all available seating was taken. Standing room only. This did mean, however, that I got to stand about 15 feet from him for the entirety of his speech, and I immediately regretted not bringing my camera (I was afraid security would make a stink about professional cameras from non-press, since they’re large enough to house both an IED and a gatling gun. Turns out they had absolutely no problem with amateurs with pro cameras, as evidenced by the guy next to me who shot horrible, horrible pictures the whole time on a really expensive Canon. That’s right, I kept peeking over his shoulder as he checked his screen between shots). In fact, I think I was the only person there without a camera. Awesome.
Though the event was supposed to begin at 5:30 and run til 7:30, I didn’t make my way through the two-block line til at least 7:00, and there was plenty more deliberation once inside. Festivities began with an extremely obnoxious cheerleading team reject who is apparently in charge of hyping Hillary in the Portland area. After failing to hype the crowd for 15 minutes or so (seriously, the vast majority of the people there were a liiiittle too old to be putting up with the bullshit she was pulling — it was really awkward), an additional speaker from the school board came out to stumble through another script and kill any excitement that anybody may still have had left. FINALLY, well over an hour later, Bill emerged to deafening applause and, after some chit chat about how great touring Oregon was, launched right into his why-you-should-vote-for-my-wife spiel. Despite the fact that he had had six or seven speaking events earlier in the day and was visibly exhausted, he really nailed it. It’s almost sad how much better of a spokesperson Bill is for Hillary’s campaign than Hillary is; there were several applause lines you couldn’t help but get sucked into, Obama-voter or no. Of course, my issue with the Hillary campaign has never been about policy. Why wouldn’t I applaud for policy nearly identical to my candidate’s? As I clapped for several key points, I couldn’t help but think “Yeah… Obama’s doing that too.”
After he finished, fans swarmed the floor to shake hands, get pictures and get their copies of My Life signed. Not wanting to deal with the crowd, primarily because I had neglected to eat all day, I instead made my way back out of the building. Not waiting around to shake his hand quickly turned into a greater regret than not bringing my camera. So I hung out sneezing distance from a highly respected former president for two hours and didn’t get so much as a photo or a handshake. I know, sweet story. Goddammit.
